Ahhh Mann!

December 26th, 2006

“I don’t want it.”

The stinging and ringing of those thoughtless/harsh words were still echoing in my head as my world turned upside down. I was shocked, yet not as surprised as I should have been when I delivered the news that I was pregnant to my boyfriend of  over two years.

Out of all of the things he could have said, those words weren’t the ones I needed or wanted. Knowing already that he wasn’t going to be excited or overjoyed, anyone in my situation only wants to know they won’t be abandoned; that it’ll all be okay and everything will work out just fine. I didn’t want a marriage proposal, I didn’t want to receive a solution, and I definitely didn’t want to be told what I should do, and what I am capable of in their opinion. All I wanted was to know that WE would work things out TOGETHER!

But! To add to everything else he never offered me, he decided to add “responsibility” to the top.

Typical?

Even though he wasn’t this cold and uncaring man when I fell in love with him, he turned into him.   I don’t know when he stopped caring about me, but it sure seemed to happen very quickly. I didn’t know at that moment, but it was the beginning of a means to an end. The child I was carrying inside me would save my life, grant me courage, and help put my life into focus.