Next four weeks or so

I am going to try my hardest to keep my blog updated but you'll have to be patient with me. We are starting major rehearsals... If you missed that post find the post entitled "Savior of the World".

Thank You!!

Why?

Writing Tuesdays!

One tip that I found that outweighed a lot of the advice I had researched!

Why is this important? Or why is your topic important? Or Why will your book be important? etc etc etc....

Answering the "why" question will keep your writing from becoming too vague. It will also propel the reader forward. Don’t just state a fact – tell why that fact is important in the context of your piece.

In my book, The Mann I've Become, I had to be especially careful to not skip the "why?" question. I gave facts in my Mann-uscript but I would then relay them into my own experiences, thus sharing why those facts were important.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Mann Mondays!

Five more of my little things!

Nail Polish Mania!
I love nail polish! Sometimes I like to put nail polish on my fingernails but mostly I put it on my toenails! Even though it is still a little too chilly outside for sandals, since I'm a dance teacher/choreographer, I do get to spend a lot of time (indoors) barefoot! To keep things interesting I like to color-coordinate my toenail polish with whatever outfit I'm going to wear.

Also! Since I am the best aunt in the world, I always keep a diverse collection of nail polish nearby. 75% of the nail polish I own I would never wear myself (because of the colors) it's all for my nieces benefit :) LOVE THEM!!

These are a few of the nail polish brands that I love!

1. Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Nail Polish - If you're looking for a nail polish that dries fast and lasts, this is the nail polish brand I recommend.

2. Sally Hansen Salon Nail Lacquer - If you have some time and want a nail polish that you won't have to do layers on layers, this is the brand I would recommend and is my favorite.

3. Opi Nail Lacquer - My nieces seem to like this brand because of the different colors they provide, I like the salon quality.

4. Sinful Colors Professional - Again, my nieces like the colors they provide.

5. Claire's Mood Nail Polish - This isn't like hypercolor (where if you breathe on it then it will change colors) this nail polish reacts to your body temperature. So it's a lot of fun to wear when I get hot flashes!

Have a great Monday!

- Moments after I placed Frog Mann in his mother’s loving arms, I started to say my goodbyes to his family and to the wonderful staff that took care of me and Frog Mann for almost three days in the hospital.  As the nurses were lining up to give me hugs, one bent down and whispered in my ear “You did a good thing today… Take some time to heal, and be good to yourself.”  There are many ways that her advice could have been interpreted, but I have always thought that on some level she was telling me to focus on myself and to enjoy the little things in life again.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Sunday's Quote


“If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.”
―Eleanor Roosevelt

I'm 28 and it's my 3rd time through Menopause

My Saturdays!

I realize that title is a little wonky (my made-up word, don't steal it) but I can assure you, it's true.

A couple years ago I went through the uncomfortable procedure to determine if I had endometriosis. I do and I also have fibroids. None of which is life-threatening but can and does cause me great pain.

So!

They decided that the best course of treatment is Lupron Depot. Now for the comfort of my reader's, mainly the men, I'm going to explain this like my "system" is a computer. The Lupron depot is like a soft shutdown and reboot, but let's say we're talking about a Dell, so the shutdown is easy and fast but the reboot takes FOREVER! :)

For most women, Lupron depot has a tendency to make them gain a lot of weight! Like with most instances (having to do with my health) I'm the opposite. I lost a whole bunch of weight fast, unsafely, and unhealthily. It's just one of those medicines where the side effects are worse than the illness. A month or so into not eating and barely keeping hydrated, I lose all of my energy, I start having hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, etc. It's a lot of fun! Not! I still find a lot of humor in all of it. Like getting a hot flash and running outside (where it's below freezing) to cool off, or being very cold and wishing for a hot flash to come.

Since, I've had 3 short experiences with chemically-induced menopause, I've also been able to come up with some tips and tricks to help those either on this medicine or naturally going through the cycle. Aww Life!

Meat tends to trigger more hot flashes, especially red meat (which I love!). Soy products help. Everyday I have a glass of light chocolate soy milk, and especially when I'm in the beginning phase and barely eating anything, everything I ate was either soy or veggies. Finding soy products you like isn't hard, you just have to be willing to try them. It'll make a difference, I promise! My last tip is to sleep with the window open. Only when the temps reached way below zero did I close my window. When you're going through night sweats, you'll find that you won't mind being cold as long as it keeps the night sweats to a minimum.

I know I didn't mention hormone pills. Most women are able to take hormone pills to counteract some of the side effects of menopause and this medication. Since I had pulmonary embolisms in 2005, I am unable to take anything hormone related. It would be like medicinal suicide. We don't want that! No No No!

But! My computer is still shutdown and it won't be for another couple of months till it reboots! So glad my system is a Dell and not a Mac! Ciao!

SMORR - Southern Missouri Off Road Ranch smorr.net

Feature Fridays!

If you love experiencing new things and you like a major rush of adrenaline, then you have to check out extreme off roading! I've only been at the Southern Missouri Off Road Ranch in Seymour, Missouri, where "Contained within the 930+ acres of terrain there are miles of fantastic trails ranging from level 1 easy to level 5 hardcore. There's something for everyone!"

If you don't believe me, then let me show you just what these suped-up jeeps can do!

If you'll notice, there are three tires on the ground still and only one tire way up in the air! Driving is a friend and co-owner of the ranch, Brandon Powell, and he's widely known for his skills on the trails.

If you still don't believe me watch this video on SMORR's facebook page click here the end is freaky!

My time spent on the ranch wasn't just riding or driving on their various trails but I was also able to enjoy some horseback riding! It's probably one of the best times I've had (not with actual family) in a really long time. The ranch is amazing, but the people you find and meet there make the experience special! They're really great, nice, welcoming, warm, kind-hearted, and family-oriented people! I miss the SMORR family and cannot wait to get back out there soon!

Here's a link to their facebook page and website Happy Friday!

Birthmother Panel on Dating After Placement

Dating can be awkward...

Throw a birthmother into the mix and the awkward-o-meter breaks.

Or that has been my experience.

I've struggled, somewhat, with dating after the placement of Frog Mann, almost 4 years ago, and I was wondering how other birthmother's were handling it.

Questions like: When to tell a guy you're a birthmother? If you should at all? How much do you tell? And what sort of reactions to expect? Can be tough questions to answer...

Here's a few birthmother's opinions on the matter from all walks of life. Thank you ladies for sharing your experiences with me and the rest of the world!

Marie - "I'm married now but when I was dating after placement it is so hard to bring up adoption. You don't know how the guy will react. I dated a lot and it really depended on where i was and how I felt with grief if I opened up. Some guys I told fast others I waited till we dated for awhile. It was hard to keep it quiet too long because I had pictures hung in my house and a bookshelf that was sort of full of baby memories. I don't remember how I told a lot of them. I showed some pictures, my scrapbook. Some were very understanding others were not. I would not get serious with someone if they didn't understand. I need the support of someone I love/care about. I wish I would have told my husband better. We worked together and a few people at work knew about my son so one day we were talking on the phone i just basically blurted out that I had a son I placed then later filled him in more. I hope this helps. My advice is to only be open about if it you feel comfortable. You don't need to tell everyone you date. I personally think it's better to be in a relationship before telling them because it's such a special experience to me and I don't just want anyone to know and judge me without knowing me or the whole story. I hope that makes sense."

Amy - "I went on a blind date 4 months after I gave my birthdaughter up for adoption. I laid everything out on the table the first night I met him. I didn't want to hide anything from him. I wanted him to know about my life the first time we met because it is only fair for the both of us. He was very caring about the subject and he told me that he looked up to me for making such a hard decision. He has a little girl that lives full time with him. Well to make a long story short, we have been together now 4 years and we just got married this past July. My advice is to be very open at the beginning if you think that the relationship is going to go anywhere. Don't hide anything from him, because you don't want to lose someone who really cares about you!! If he doesn't accept it, he doesn't really care about you in the first place!!"

Shawna - "I was from a small area and everyone already knew that I had placed my baby for adoption, but I kind of in a way liked it that way. It helped open up my view of what kind of guys would date me (and surprisingly the guys who seem only out for "one thing" normally stayed away from me because I'd had a kid and aparently wasn't fun to be around anymore) and it helped me see what guys were willing to get to know me as a person."

Tosha - "Honesty is always the best policy. I told my husband after I KNEW that there was a connection that might be heading for marriage or something serious (it was on about date 2 or 3). I don't think its necessary to tell some random dude something so personal unless you thought there was something there. I would not wait until engagement, that's unfair.

My husband was very accepting, loving and caring when I told him...you can bet that if he wasn't I wouldn't have married him, and I am fortunate to still have that same love and support now. I know TOO many woman who have husbands who are jerks about their adoption and it makes their lives miserable. It's best to clear the air before things get too serious, its only fair, I mean after all you would want them to tell you something that important too, right?"

Leah - "Most guys I were interested in didn't really care, but when I told my (future) husband that I had a daughter he said, "I know (because of my facebook page), and if God can forgive you, so can I." Meaning, forgiving me of having sex outside of marriage and not being pure like he was. He met Kaylee 2 months into our dating relationship and has just fit into our adoption since :-)

And with that, I would say that if a birthmother meets a guy (or a regular friend too!) that doesn't respect your decision and can't handle it, obviously they are NOT the one for you."

10 Tips To Get Your Book Published

Adventure Wednesdays!

When I came across this article I thought I should pass on the wisdom.


"(by: StatePoint)  Over 412,000 books were published in the past 12 months. That means over 1,100 books are flooding the marketplace daily - or almost one a minute.

So how can you break through the clutter to get your book published, promoted, and sold?

"The good news is there's no better time in the history of publishing for individuals seeking access to the marketplace," says publishing veteran Brian Feinblum. "You're no longer at the mercy of big publishing houses. You can get a book published on your own with minimal financial investment - and reap a greater percentage of the profits."

Feinblum, a former book editor and publicist, is the chief marketing officer of Planned Television Arts (PTA), the nation's largest and oldest book promotions firm. He often helps self-published or first time authors.

PTA (www.plannedtvarts.com) has helped many authors become best-sellers, nurturing thousands of unknowns to become household names. Their clients include: Wiley & Sons, Simon & Schuster, Harper Collins, Random House, Penguin Putnam and McGraw-Hill.

Here are 10 tips from Feinblum on how to get published:

* If you want a traditional publisher to publish your book you usually need a literary agent. An agent will take 15 percent of the money the book generates. Once a literary agent agrees to represent you and finds a publisher, it can take another 12-18 months to publish the book. To locate an agent, consult the "Literary Market Place," a directory available at most libraries.

* Self-publish. This means you invest money to print your books. You get to keep all profits and retain control of the editing, cover, and content. It's best to find a distributor who can sell your book to bookstores and libraries, and generate sales to corporations and associations. A distributor typically takes about 25 to 30 percent of the proceeds.

* If you want to get published quickly, keep most of your profits, and lay-out little money, consider using print-on-demand publishers such as iUnivese.com, Trafford, or Blurb.com. Instead of printing thousands of books in advance, they print a book when a consumer orders it.

* Publish an e-book. No printing is involved. People order your book online and it's downloaded or emailed to them.

* To convince a literary agent to represent you or a publisher to publish you, create a book proposal. You must identify what your book is about, why you're qualified to write it, how big the marketplace is, what your competing titles are, and how you plan to promote and market the book. It's not enough to have a good idea or a well-written book.

* Publishers are looking for authors with a platform or following. Create a Web site, blog regularly, build an e-zine mailing list, podcast, speak at local groups, and network at LinkedIn.com and other sites.

* Check if the media is featuring the topic your book covers. If it's fiction, find similar novels. You want to follow a trend and tie into it. However, uniqueness counts. If yours is the only book of its kind, you may have found an underserved niche, ready to be exploited.

* Attend Book Expo America (www.bookexpoamerica.com), the annual publishing event featuring publishers, literary agents, editors and booksellers.

* Read about the publishing industry. "Publishers Weekly" is the magazine covering book publishing. They also have a free daily e-zine. Consult www.publishersweekly.com.

* Tell everyone you know you're trying to get published. Send sample chapters to friends, co-workers, family, etc. You may get lucky and get discovered. At the very least, you'll get useful feedback.

For additional tips on getting your book published or promoted, email feinblumb@plannedtvarts.com. To learn more about book publicity, visit www.plannedtvarts.com."

click here for full article



--There is so much information out there for the taking!  I'll list all of my own resources but I urge you to also do your homework and find resources that fit you best!  It's suppose to be an adventure, right?!  Make it interesting!

10 Writing Tips from the Masters!

Writing Tuesdays!

"As the world becomes increasingly digital, writing becomes more important. This is especially true for non-writers. If you work in an office, the majority of your communications are made with text by email or IM.Whether you like it or not, your ability to exchange ideas, collaborate with others, and ultimately succeed, hinges on the ability to write effectively.Earlier this week, K. Stone laid out a process to help you write faster, better, and easier. To follow up, here are 10 timeless tips to help you improve style and substance, straight from the pens of humanity’s finest authors.

Writing Tips

1. Cut the boring parts

I try to leave out the parts that people skip. ~Elmore Leonard

Unless you’re writing for personal reasons alone, you need to consider the attention of your readers. There’s no point is publishing content that isn’t useful, interesting, or both.2. Eliminate unnecessary words

Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very;” your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. ~Mark Twain

I used to feel that using words like “really”, “actually”, or “extremely” made writing more forceful. It doesn’t. They only get in the way. Cut them and never look back.3. Write with passion

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. ~William Wordsworth

It’s not hard to realize that unless you’re excited about your writing no one else will be.4. Paint a picture

Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. ~Anton Chekhov

Simply stating something is fine, but when you need to capture attention, using similes, metaphors, and vivid imagery to paint a picture creates a powerful emotional response.5. Keep it simple

Vigorous writing is concise. ~William Strunk Jr.

Maybe it was all those late nights, struggling to fill out mandatory 10 page papers, but many people seem to think that worthwhile writing is long and drawn out. It’s more difficult (and effective) to express yourself in the simplest possible manner.6. Do it for love

Write without pay until somebody offers to pay. ~Mark Twain

When you’re just starting out it’s hard to decide where to begin. So don’t. Just start writing. A blog is a good place to start. The most valuable benefit is the feedback.7. Learn to thrive on criticism

You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance. ~Ray Bradbury

Writing means putting yourself at the mercy of anonymous hecklers and shameless sycophants. Learn to make the most of the insults and distrust the praise.8. Write all the time

Quantity produces quality. If you only write a few things, you’re doomed. ~Ray BradburyThe way you define yourself as a writer is that you write every time you have a free minute. If you didn’t behave that way you would never do anything. ~John Irving

9. Write what you know … or what you want to know

If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts; and if any would write in a noble style, let him first possess a noble soul. ~Johann Wolfgang von GoetheLearn as much by writing as by reading. ~Lord Acton

Successful writing is all about trust and authority. It makes sense to write about your area of expertise. If you don’t have an expertise, reading and writing is the best way to develop one and put it on display.10. Be unique and unpredictable

I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite. ~G.K. ChestertonConsistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. ~Oscar WildeZest. Gusto. How rarely one hears these words used. How rarely do we see people living, or for that matter, creating by them. Yet if I were asked to name the most important items in a writer’s make-up, the things that shape his material and rush him along the road to where he wants to go, I could only warn him to look to his zest, see to his gusto. ~Ray Bradbury

Following what works will only get you so far. Experiment with new styles, even if it means taking criticism. Without moving forward, you’ll be left behind."

click here to go to actual website

Mann-ic Monday :)

Mann Mondays!

This Week's Five Little Things:

1. I love organizing things. Albeit, things don't tend to stay organized but that just means I get to rearrange and organize everything all over again! PLUS! That also means I can find fun ways to help me stay organized, which brings me to my next four little things:

2. Notebooks! I have ten times as many notebooks as I do journals. I've always loved writing things down, whether it be journaling, to-do lists, other lists, random thoughts, different projects, etc etc etc.. I write it all down!

3. Of course, in order to write everything down I need something to write with! I like to keep a range of different colored and different types of ink pens close by at all times. Whether I'm color coordinating different sections of projects or I'm writing my nieces and nephews fun letters to mail to them, different pens keep things interesting.

4. I HEART POST-ITS! I use post-its almost as much as I use notebooks. When I was collecting thoughts and different ideas, for my Mann-uscript, post-its helped a lot. One thought per tiny post-it and a different color for the category the thought went into. Then after I collected my thoughts and ideas, I would rearrange them chronologically and so on.

5. I don't think I have to tell you the wide range Sharpies have. They're wonderful and they keep ordinary things fun and fresh. My favorite use is when my family goes to the Oregon Coast for a week. To try and keep our waste and the amount of dishes we have to a minimum, we have one plastic cup and we write our names on them. The variety of colors is fun and the cups tend to be more decorated than labeled :)

- Moments after I placed Frog Mann in his mother’s loving arms, I started to say my goodbyes to his family and to the wonderful staff that took care of me and Frog Mann for almost three days in the hospital.  As the nurses were lining up to give me hugs, one bent down and whispered in my ear “You did a good thing today… Take some time to heal, and be good to yourself.”  There are many ways that her advice could have been interpreted, but I have always thought that on some level she was telling me to focus on myself and to enjoy the little things in life again.

Oscar Wilde Quote

Sunday's Quote

“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.”
―Oscar Wilde

Savior of the World

My Saturdays!

You may have read a few of my posts or blurbs about myself and I mentioned dance rehearsals or my dancers or my girls, etc... This is what I was talking about!

"Savior of the World is a musical dramatic production produced by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It premiered November 28, 2000 in the Conference Center Theater on Temple Square in Salt Lake City, Utah and has been presented annually near the Easter and Christmas holidays, though the Easter performances have not occurred on Temple Square since 2005.

Fully titled "Savior of the World: His Birth and Resurrection", the production depicts the Biblical accounts of the events surrounding the birth and death of Jesus Christ. Scripting and music have been fluid during the history of the production, as revisions of the materials have occurred from one year to the next. However the core of the production has always focused on the birth of Jesus for Act I and Jesus' resurrection for Act II.

Primary Purpose and Objective:

1.  To Strengthen Testimonies and Help Bring All Unto Christ

2.  To Help our Non-member Neighbors Recognize that We Believe in Christ"

The Richland Stake (click here for definition of Stake) is putting on their own production of Savior of the World in April and for the very first time they are including a few dance numbers. 

(That's where I come in.)

I was recruited to come up with three original dance numbers to fit the style of the play. The style for two of the numbers is traditional Israeli Folk dancing and the third number is more ballet than anything else. It's a real treat and has been an amazing experience so far, but also extremely intimidating to be the first! Especially, with how important this production is to the LDS church, the members, and the powerful message it brings during the Easter season. I love my dancers to death and I love this play! Maybe, after the performances, I will be able to show the dance numbers (and only the dance numbers) on my blog. Fingers Crossed!

Please be as respectful of my religion as I am of yours. Thank You! Have an excellent Saturday!

Mary Higgins Clark - Author

Feature Fridays!

"Mary Higgins Clark's books are world-wide bestsellers. In the U.S. alone, her books have sold over 80 million copies."

She is my absolute favorite fiction writer! Her style is unlike anyone's I have ever read and I absolutely adore all of her books. (Even when I have to sleep with the light on at night.)

Below is a link to her website and blog! Have a great Friday!

Mary Higgins Clark's website

Wow! I'm the minority!

Birthmother Thursdays!

As you read what this woman wrote, keep in mind that approximately 90+ percent of birthmothers feel they were manipulated or told they didn't have a choice when they chose adoption. I'm the minority! It's my theory that the problem lies with the agencies. My agency, LDS Family Services, told me they would support whichever choice I decided to make (becoming a single mother or a birthmother... abortion was never an option).

Let me know your reaction to what this poor woman writes about adoption and fostering a child--

"There are some folks who have had so awful experiences with adoptions, adoptees and birth mothers who feel that they were exploited and their rights to be with the family of their birth were stolen from them. They seem to be more forgiving of people who foster children, who are very abused and neglected. To them the very worst person on earth are people who adopt infants (like I am in the process of doing), because we are, as I understand it, infertile baby stealing monsters who take advantage of poor women and use them as human incubators in order to fulfill their own selfish sick needs to have children. Through my agency I would like to adopt a child under a year, preferably older than a month (so the child has been born and decisions have been made before I come into the picture). I use to feel guilty about doing infant adoption, but not any more. I've encountered such hateful abusive sick attitudes that I've gone the other way on the matter, nothing like hitting me over the head with an emotional baseball bat to send me in the other direction. If the idea is to change minds and hearts to what they want, they are going about it the wrong way. I do think there are some changes in the system that need to be made, but I don't think I am doing anything wrong by adopting and won't apologize for it."

Step #2--How's A Mann To Get Published?

Adventure Wednesdays!

Do I need an agent?

Of Course!  Por Supuesto!  Selbstverständlich! Naturellement! Natuurlijk!

Sorry, I was channeling a broadcast system in Disney World. (They announce everything in multiple languages.)

How do I get an agent's attention?

According to Guide to Literary Agents, there's a checklist I should reference to find out if I've done everything I should in order to land an agent.  They state the following:

To-Do List for Nonfiction Writers --I will put my remarks in magenta :)


1. Formulate a concrete idea...  I wonder how many nonfiction writers that buy this book don't already have a formulated-concrete idea?  ..for your book.  Sketch a brief outline making sure you have enough material for an entire book-length manuscript.

2. Research works on similar topics to understand the competition and determine how your book is unique. You'd be amazed at the lack of adoption stories (from the birthmother's perspective) from this century! If I have to read another blurb about a birthmother who went through an adoption 20-30 years ago, I'll scream!  It's amazing how the book industry needs to catch up on this subject!  


3. Write sample chapters.  This step should indicate how much time you will need to finish and if your writing needs editorial help.  My Mann-uscript is finished and edited but I'm not certain if I could of gauged accurately how much time it would take me to finish. Took me 4 years to get it onto paper, not because the story wasn't there, but because it's hard to live in that painful place for very long.  Editor?  "Check!" 


4. Publish completed chapters in journals and/or magazines. This validates your work to agents and provides writing samples for later in the process. I wasn't sure about this step, but I am still going through the process of either publishing chapters from my Mann-uscript, as well as taking every other opportunity to write and be published in different sectors.  


5. Polish your outline so you can refer to it while drafting a query letter so you're prepared when agents contact you. I wasn't aware of this step before I bought this book, but being the organized/neat-freak I am when writing, I've probably redone my outline about 50 times. 

6. Brainstorm three to four subject categories that best describe your material. Women's Interest, YA, Inspirational, Memoir...  "Check!"


7. Use the indexes in this book to find agents interested in at least two of your subject areas and who are looking for new clients.

8. Rank your list. Narrow your list further by reading the listings of agencies you found in the indexes, and organize the list according to your preferences.  Research agent Web sites to be even more selective.

7 & 8 -- I thought I would address these two at the same time.  I thought that they were a little out of place and probably should go after the query letter and proposal.  


9. Write your query. Give an agent an excellent first impression by professionally and succinctly (briefly and clearly expressed) describing your premise and your experience.

Detour! Did you know when writing a query letter (for a nonfiction manuscript) the point of the query is to get the agent to read your book proposal?  Did you know that you should include your proposal as a link to be downloaded if the agent chooses to read further?  I HAD NO IDEA!!  Thank You bksp.org!  

10. Read about the business of agents so you're knowledgeable and prepared to act on any offer. Start by reading this book's articles section completely. Ok Guide to Literary Agents, why did I have to read about book proposals from somewhere else?  

That point alone (including a book proposal with nonfiction query letters) proves that you shouldn't pick just one reference in preparation for your Publishing Adventure, but to do extensive research. No one likes being caught with their pants down! Especially this Mann! Which I already was once (metaphorically speaking) if you remember the crappy agent I originally signed with?  Hmmm...


Do research. Love research. Research is your friend!

--There is so much information out there for the taking!  I'll list all of my own resources but I urge you to also do your homework and find resources that fit you best!  It's suppose to be an adventure, right?!  Make it interesting!

A Mann's Process - Revisiting Last Tuesday's Post

Writing Tuesdays!

Last week I posted The Mann I've Become: 15 Ways To Write A Novel by Max Barry:, and this week I am going to reflect on what he said while sharing my own routine. If you don't remember what he said or wasn't able to read last week's post, the link above will take you to that post.

So! Max listed 15 distinctive ways to write a novel and included the pro's and con's of each process.  Personally, I don't use just one of what he listed but my own version of a combination of a few of his techniques.

Which ones do I use in my own way?

- The Quiet Place
- The Burst
- The Immersion
- Headphones
- End-To-End
- Jigsaw
- Outline

I definitely lock myself away in a quiet place to hide from the outside world.  I write in bursts, but longer bursts and I never set a time limit for myself like in "Immersion".  If I am in the mood I listen to Yanni, but never anything that has words or it becomes too distracting.  After I put an outline together, I develop different parts of the stories at a time, but I don't write everything out until I could do it "End-to-End".  Are you lost?

Finding your own routine where you'll receive the max amount of benefit in the shortest amount of time, is key.  Everyone works differently.  When I'm writing and I feel myself lagging or frustrated I take a walk, clean, do crafts, play a game, take a drive, spend time with family, and usually about 15 minutes after I've stepped away, I start coming up with ideas quickly and effortlessly.  That's why I always carry paper and pens with me, I even have post-its and pens in the bathroom...  lol...  You never know when you're going to receive inspiration and I'm the type of person that if I don't write it down, I'm liable to strain over remembering it later on.  Not Fun!

My advice is to use Max's tips as a jumping-off point in finding your own style and routine.

Happy Writing!

It's the Little Things! First Five :)

Mann Mondays!

Moments after I placed Frog Mann in his mother’s loving arms, I started to say my goodbyes to his family and to the wonderful staff that took care of me and Frog Mann for almost three days in the hospital.  As the nurses were lining up to give me hugs, one bent down and whispered in my ear “You did a good thing today… Take some time to heal, and be good to yourself.”  There are many ways that her advice could have been interpreted, but I have always thought that on some level she was telling me to focus on myself and to enjoy the little things in life again.

I would love to make one huge list and have it all in order of which I enjoy the best to least, however, it would take a seriously long time to remember ALL of my favorite little things, so I am just going to post a few each week as time goes by.

This Week's Five Little Things:

1.  Chocolate Frozen Yogurt WITH Gummy Bears from Baskin Robbins -

2.  Collecting and Writing in Fun Journals!  I have an everyday, spiritual, dream, random thoughts, book ideas, life ideas, and dance journal.

3.  I love going to Petco ever-so-often and looking at all of the animals they have there.

4.  This is new, but my little sister, Hayley, and I have been going to lunch once a week to catch-up and just chat about fun and random things!  This is us a VERY long time ago.

5.  Macy's Origins "Out of Trouble" 10 min. Mask!  When those hormones decide to kick my skin's behind, this literally saves the day!  Best skin care product ever!

Irish Blessing

Sunday's Quote!

I shamrock March!


“May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, the foresight to know where you are going, and the insight to know when you have gone too far.”
―Irish Blessing

It's A Mann's World!

My Saturdays!

I had the pleasure of going to see my old high school's rendition of "Anything Goes" last night.  It was so much fun!  I love love love the theater!

It made my brain start reminiscing over all of the musicals I have been able to enjoy over the years and, of course, why I started dancing in the first place.  When I was 2, I saw the movie "Annie" for the first time and from then on out I decided that I was going to dance.  I've always considered myself lucky enough to have parents that were willing to support my passion for dance rather than push me to achieve in areas where I had no interest.

I was also fortunate enough to grow-up with a mother that loved watching old movies, especially musicals!  It was a great way to enjoy another aspect of my passion, The Stage!  *Queue Music*  :)

If you've never had the chance or just don't know where to start when it comes to musical movies, I recommend starting with one of these:

1. West Side Story (1961) with Natalie Wood

2. The Wizard of Oz (1939) with Judy Garland

3.  The Sound of Music (1965) with Julie Andrews

4. Fiddler On The Roof (1971) with Chaim Topol as Tevye - If I was a rich Mann? NO? :)

5.  How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying (1967) with Robert Morse

6.  Bye Bye Birdie (1963) with Dick Van Dyke, Maureen Stapleton, Janet Leigh, Paul Lynde, Bobby Rydell, and the ever-so-unforgettable Ann-Margaret

Go Forth! Enjoy! Have A Great Saturday!

A Day in the Life Too... a blog about stylish modest fashion

Feature Fridays! Hooray For Fridays! Right?

I LOVE this blog! It's about the ever-so-adorable Brittney, her life, and fun/exciting ways to dress fashionably-modest :) I promise you will love her blog too!

A Day in the Life Too... a blog about stylish modest fashion: i heart colored tights. and, sure, love in general...: " boots: target. tights & bracelet: f21. skirt & shirt: gap. belt: thrifted (american eagle outfitters). necklace: don't recall..."

-If you have an idea for Feature Fridays please email me at mann.rebekah@gmail.com

Selfish vs Selfless - Birthmother Thursdays!

Birthmother Thursdays!

Selfish - (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

Selfless/Unselfish - concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one's own.

When it became clear that I was going to have to choose between the options of becoming a single mother or becoming a birthmother (giving my child up for adoption), the first question and concern I had was determining what was selfish and what was selfless.  With my own logic I came up with two different ways to think about my situation and how I should respond to it:

1.  Adoption is selfless because it benefits my child and not myself?

2.  Adoption is selfish because I avoid my own responsibility?

Determining what was right and wrong for myself was difficult.  I would of done just about anything to keep my child but I also wanted my child to have all of the advantages this life has to offer.  Because the biological father, or sperm donor, was a big flake (to say the least) I knew that even if I had chosen to keep my child, I was going to get him to sign over his rights.

Age?  Second of all, I thought that my age somehow factored into how I was going to be counseled.  That because I was older when I became pregnant (25) it meant I was better qualified to be a single mother, that it somehow changed how I would approach my decision.  IT DIDN'T!  I would be no better qualified to be a father whether I was 25 or 65...  I may be a Mann, but I'm just not cutout for the role of being a father.

I found an article that had this quote in it:

"Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity."

I believe that with all my heart and it was the answer to all of my prayers.  So simple, direct, and logical.  Not even my own mother would be able to dispute it, and she didn't.

After mulling over those questions I came to the conclusion that in order to feel right about what I decided, I was going to have to take myself out of the equation.  Asking myself "is adoption selfish or selfless?" was not the right question.  Asking myself "what's the right thing to do for my unborn child?"  That was the right question and lead to the conclusion that adoption was the selfless thing to do for my unborn child.  "I" had nothing to do with what was right and what was wrong.  If I had put my own wants of having children ahead of the well-being of my unborn child, that would have been selfish.

Step #1 - How in the world is a Mann suppose to get published?

Adventure Wednesdays!

How did I figure out what I needed to do in order to get published?

First I bought the book "The Everything Get Published Book" (2nd edition) and I figured out that I needed to get an agent.  How does a Mann get an agent?  Well....

That's an excellent question!

I was lucky enough to actually get signed on pretty early by an agency and they took care of one of the most important steps this Mann took to getting an agent and ultimately being published.

(I know that sounds a little backwards, but what you'll read further down was that I fired the first agent and had to start all over again!)

I was hooked up with an editor.  Luckily, my editor and I were able to bond in a way that most writers probably aren't so lucky.  Anne M Younger (my editor and an author) understood and respected what I was trying to accomplish.  I felt she took a personal liking and interest in my Mann-uscript and fortunately after I fired my first agent, Anne was more than willing to privately finish editing my Mann-uscript.  Editing is very important!  Why did I fire my first agent?  Because I was careless, naive, and downright stupid.  I didn't do my homework, I didn't research the agency before I signed with them, and I found out that they had a lot of unhappy authors who tried to work with them.  Luckily, my contract was extremely easy to get out of.

DETOUR!
YOU SHOULDN'T TICK-OFF AUTHORS - Just a little Mann-ly advice.  You tick-off one author or several authors and the story will be plastered all over the internet by morning.  No one is safe!

I was also fortunate enough that Anne was also a fellow author and had been through the publishing process herself.  She was gracious enough to give some friendly advice.

The best piece of advice she gave me was to purchase the current years guide to literary agents.  I went with "2011 Guide to Literary Agents"... (They're killing me with the title.) Inside they give advice on how to get an agents attention and what steps will help with that challenge.

So, if you're looking for a 1st step to getting your own manuscript published,  I am going to take my queue from Anne...  Go to Barnes and Noble and pick up the current literary agent guide book.  You won't regret it!

15 Ways To Write A Novel by Max Barry

Writing Tuesdays!

15 Ways To Write A Novel by Max Barry  maxbarry.com (I edited some of the language)


Some of these methods I use a lot, some only when I’m stuck. Some I never use, but maybe they’ll work for you. If there were a single method of writing great books, we’d all be doing it.  (These ideas are geared towards fiction novels, but can just as easily be used for non-fiction writing too)

1. The Word Target

What: You don’t let yourself leave the keyboard each day until you’ve hit 2,000 words.

Why: It gets you started. You stop fretting over whether your words are perfect, which you shouldn’t be doing in a first draft. It captures your initial burst of creative energy. It gets you to the end of a first draft in only two or three months. If you can consistently hit your daily target, you feel awesome and motivated.

Why Not: It can leave you too exhausted to spend any non-writing time thinking about your story. It encourages you to pounce on adequate ideas rather than give them time to turn into great ones. It encourages you to use many words instead of few. If you take a wrong turn, you can go a long way before you realize it. It can make you feel like a failure as a writer when the problem is that you’re trying to animate a corpse. It can make you dread writing.

2. The Word Ceiling

What: You write no more than 500 words per day.

Why: You force yourself to finish before you really want to, which makes you spend the rest of the day thinking about getting back to the story, which often produces good new ideas. You feel good about yourself even if you only produced a few hundred words that day. You don’t beat yourself up about one or two bad writing days. You give yourself time to turn good ideas into great ones. Writing feels less like hard work. (More on this.)

Why Not: It takes longer (six months or more). It can be difficult to work on the same idea for a very long time. It may take so long that you give up.

3. The Coffee Shop

What: You take your laptop, order a coffee, and compose your masterpiece in public.

Why: It gets you out of the house, which may help to break a funk. You’re less likely to goof off if people are watching. It feels kind of cool.

Why Not: It’s extremely distracting. You look like an idiot. You lose a deceptively large amount of time to non-writing activities (getting there, setting up, ordering coffees, considering bagels…).

4. The Quiet Place

What: You go to your own particular writing place and close the door on the world.

Why: It removes distractions. It can feel like a special, magical retreat, where you compose great fictions (particularly if it’s somewhere you only use for writing, not checking email, doing your taxes, and leveling your Warlock).

Why Not: You may not have one. You may find it depressing if you’ve had a tough time writing lately. You can end up fussing over making your Writing Place perfect instead of writing.

5. The Burst

What: You write in patches of 30-60 minutes. When you feel your concentration flag, you go do something else for 30 minutes, then return.

Why: It freshens you up. You find solutions to difficult story problems pop into your head after a breather. You can find time to write more easily, knowing you’re only sitting down for a short while. When you’re “running out of time,” you can feel energized and write very quickly.

Why Not: It’s more difficult to sink into the zone if you know another activity is just around the corner. It can encourage you to look for excuses to stop writing. It discourages more thoughtful writing.

6. The Immersion

What: You pull out the network cord, turn off the phone, and write in blocks of four hours.

Why: It eliminates distractions. You can relax knowing that you have plenty of time to write. It encourages thoughtful writing.

Why Not: You can wind up grinding. You can feel reluctant to start writing, knowing that such a huge block of time awaits.

7. The Intoxicant

What: You consume alcohol, narcotic, or caffeine before writing.

Why: Dude, those words just gush.

Why Not: You may be part of the 99.9% of the population that writes self-indulgent gibberish.

Sidenote: There is no case of writer’s block that can’t be cured with enough caffeine.

8. The Headphones

What: You strap on headphones and crank up the volume.

Why: It’s inspiring. It can quickly put you in the right frame of mind for a scene. It can block out other noise that would otherwise be distracting.

Why Not: You can’t think as clearly. You can be misled into thinking you’re writing a powerful/exciting/tragic scene when in fact it’s just the music.

9. The Break of Dawn

What: You wake, walk directly to your computer, and write.

Why: Your mind is at its clearest and most creative. You haven’t started thinking about the real world yet. Your body is not fuzzing your mind with digestion. If you write for a while, you develop a hunger dizziness that’s mildly stimulating. (This can be combined with coffee.)

Why Not: You may not be a morning person. You may only be able to write for a short while before becoming too hungry to continue. Your lifestyle may not permit it.

10. The Dead of Night

What: You write at night, after everyone’s gone to sleep.

Why: It feels kind of cool. It’s often a reliable distraction-free time. You can often be in a fairly clear, creative frame of mind.

Why Not: You may only be able to write for a short while before becoming too tired to write coherently. You may be too tired to repeat the process regularly. You may not be a night person.

11. The Jigsaw

What: You start writing the scenes (or pieces of scenes) that interest you the most, and don’t worry about connecting them until later.

Why: You capture the initial energy of ideas. You can avoid becoming derailed by detail. You make sure your novel revolves around your big ideas.

Why Not: It can be difficult to figure out how to connect the scenes after the fact. You need to rewrite heavily in order to incorporate ideas you had later for earlier sections. Your characters can be shakier because you wrote scenes for them before you knew the journey they’d make to get there.

12. The End-to-End

What: You start at the beginning and write the entire thing in sequence.

Why: You see the story as a reader will. You feel more confident about your characterizations, pacing, and logical progression of plot. It’s simpler.

Why Not: You can become bogged down in boring sections you think are necessary to set-up good stuff (not realizing yet that you don’t need those boring sections, or that they can be far shorter than you think). You can wind up far from where you intended to go, never finding a place for those initial ideas. (This may not be a bad thing.)

13. The Outline

What: You sketch out plot, characters, and turning points before you start writing.

Why: You feel like you know what you’re doing. You can feel excited because you know big stuff is coming. You tend to produce a better structure, with larger character arcs and clearer plot twists.

Why Not: What seems like a brilliant idea for an ending on day 1 can seem trite on day 150, when you understand the characters and story better. You feel pressure to make your characters do implausible things in order to fit your outline. You can close yourself off to better ideas. You can become bored because you already know what’s going to happen.

14. The Journey

What: You start writing with no real idea of where you’ll wind up.

Why: It’s exciting. Discovering a story as you write it is one of life’s great joys. Your characters have freedom to act more naturally and drive the story, rather than be bumped around by plot.

Why Not: You can end up nowhere very interesting. You tend to write smaller, more realistic stories, which may not be what you want.

15. The Restart

What: You abandon the story you’re working on, even though you know it’s brilliant and the idea is perfect but gosh darn it is driving you insane for some reason

Why: It’s a bad idea. There might be a good idea inside it somewhere, but you’ve surrounded it with bad characters or plot or setting or something and the only way to salvage it is to let all that other stuff go.

Why Not: While loss of motivation is always, always, always because the story isn’t good enough, and some part of you knows it, you rarely need to throw away the whole thing. Often deleting the last sentence, paragraph, or scene is enough to spark ideas about new directions. Sometimes you only need to give up a plan for the future. Changing your mind about where you’re going can allow you to write the story you really want.

Mixing Things Up!

I've decided to do a massive revision of my blog, what I'm posting, how I'm posting and when.  Since yesterday I received the final edited version of my Mann-uscript, it is now time to start really pounding the metaphorical pavement and find myself an agent.  I've also decided to take all of you along for the ride!  Here is the line up for my blog week and the weeks to come!

Mann Mondays - Especially since the adoption, I've come to the conclusion that I need special, seemingly insignificant, little things to help me get through the days, weeks, months, and years!  We all have our special things and I would like to share with you my own tips for things that help keep my life interesting.  I'll be featuring favorite brands, my own weaknesses for certain products, philosophies, passions, hobbies, etc etc etc...

Writing Tuesdays - I've received a lot of questions about how exactly I managed to put an entire book together.  So, Writing Tuesdays will be about how to write your own Non-fiction book with tips and tricks I either stole or made up for myself.

Adventure Wednesdays - I'll be taking you along with me through my adventure of getting published.  When I was writing my book I had no idea just exactly what it would take to get published and I'm still just scratching the surface!

Birthmother Thursdays - After all, it is what my book is all about!  But, I'll take you through the step-by-step process of becoming a birthmother, what exactly they don't tell you about being a birthmother, the worries a birthmother has, etc etc etc...  In society adoptive parents are everywhere!  Where are the birthmothers?

Feature Fridays - Other Blogs, articles, letters, comments, websites, etc... that I have  found and want to share with my readers.  There are so many great things going on in this world and I would like to share with you the things that interest me!

My Saturdays - What else is going on in the rest of my life?  Excellent question!  I've talked about some of it before, but now I'm going to offer better details and a more in-depth look at what else is happening in this Mann's World!

Sunday's Quotes - Since I'm not really comfortable with writing on Sundays (day of rest) but I don't want to leave my readers hanging, I'll be featuring my favorite quotes and the favorite quotes of others.  I would like to invite you to write to me your favorite quotes about anything you see fit!  I will feature it on Sunday's blog.

What's your definition of a friend?

I asked this question on my blog and on my facebook pages and I wanted to get the chance to post some of the responses I received.

J wrote "someone who stands with you thru everything, cares enough to say the hard things, but loves you enough to never judge you.

K wrote "Someone who loves you the way you are, no matter what!"

B wrote "I told my daughter: Friends are people who have things in common and who support each other.  When you have an acquaintance who spends a lot of time trying to control you, that person isn't looking for friendship.  They are looking for power."

H wrote "friends are people who buy you toblerone"

R wrote “Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.”

V wrote "Friend's are God's way of apologizing to us for our families"

K wrote "A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be."

Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

Thank You!